Moving On & Moving Out
HOW TO EMPTY THE NEST… AND TIPS FOR DOWNSIZING ALONG THE WAY
Written by JENNIFER LONDON | Photographed by SARA MOORE
As children transition from high school to college, and then from college to the working world, local parents are faced with a new situation: an empty nest that calls for moving on as their children are moving out. It can be daunting to some.
One thing local parents suggest is filling the gap with new pastimes. We look at a pair of Coweta couples who have faced their new household arrangements head on.
The Reeveses, new empty nesters living life offroad
Since becoming empty nesters, Bill and Melanie Reeves celebrate their “new” life together with outdoor drives in their new jeep.
Married since 1996, Newnan residents Bill and Melanie Reeves raised three children. The youngest heads off to college this year, so they become brand new empty nesters.
“It’s been a fun journey to figure out what that looks like for Bill and me,” says Melanie. “We both still work full-time. He works at the Heritage School, and I’m director of Riverlife, the nonprofit here. Our life has, I wouldn’t say ‘slowed down,’ but our time at home looks a lot different. We make jokes, looking at each other like, ‘What are we gonna do tonight?’ ‘I don’t know, what do you want to do tonight?’”
It’s been an interesting transition for the couple; however, being involved in their church and group activities keeps them busy. The couple routinely plays pickleball and added to their family a new four-wheeled companion.
“I think the most fun decision that we made was to buy a Jeep, which has been a dream of mine for many years,” says Melanie. “I had to convince Bill to consider it, but once we did we started finding out what the Jeep culture is all about with clubs and meetings and the world of off-roading. This vehicle is gonna help us do something fun together and try to reconnect as a couple without daily life with our kids.”
Another thing the couple enjoys together is camping. Their kids grew up camping with them, and now that the kids have gone, says Melanie, “That’s another thing we try to do just the two of us, in this new world we find ourselves.”
The family downsized some in 2015 as they settled into running a nonprofit.
“That was just part of our journey of living a midlife career change. We still live in that house,” says Melanie. “We were grateful to be able to downsize. I think as a culture we tend to accumulate way too much stuff, so downsizing is helpful at any point in our life, I believe. We wanted to keep our home as a place to host our family gatherings, and so we still have enough room for that.”
Melanie’s advice for others in this next chapter of life is to find something that both people enjoy doing together and make the time to do that.
“There’s a little bit of grief to life as we’ve known it,” she says. “Our life has circled around our kids and their activities. When that’s gone, it’s a big piece of our life and we’re not seeing our kids every day. There’s a component of grief to that so we support each other. Finding that new activity that we can do together pulls us together intentionally and naturally creates that supportive environment for us.”
Both Melanie and Bill have lost parents.
“It’s a lot for children to have to go through their parents’ things and decide what’s necessary and have to filter through the rest,” says Melanie. “With the work that I do in our nonprofit, we have also come across some older adults who are trying to figure out what they need and what they should get rid of in the season of their life as older adults.”
As far as collections of gadgets and electronics, the family tries to recycle and pass on, gifting as many of those things as they can so that their children won’t be overwhelmed when their time comes to go through their parents’ belongings.
“We don’t want to leave them with a mess,” says Reeves, adding, “I have a friend who always says, ‘The best is yet to come,’ and I feel like that’s where we are.”
She says she and her husband enjoy discovering their relationship as a couple as they are also watching their children succeed and launch into adulthood.
“We feel like we have so much to look forward to in the next season, so we’re excited,” she says. “It’s been a definite transition, but we love it. We’ve found some joy in this new season that we’re in.”
The Eversolls, Fledgling Empty Nesters
One Down and One to Go
Brandy and Nick Eversoll agree they have to be more intentional when considering life beyond the empty next. For them, part of that involves traveling together to new destinations.
Newnan residents Brandy Eversoll and husband Nick have been married for 20 years and have been busy raising two children. Their daughter is now in the military and their son graduates from high school this year.
When their daughter was home, she was involved in multiple activities that kept her busy and the family on the go. Brandy says now that bootcamp is over, she talks with her daughter every day via text; but when she first left, it was a difficult adjustment.
Brandy explains they were so used to pouring into the kids that they didn’t always put enough into themselves individually or as a couple.
“We’re trying to just get back to us,” she says. “I think a lot of people don’t talk about that – like how much of a struggle it is. I don’t want to say ‘reconnecting’ because we never disconnected, but we never got to spend a lot of time as just us because of the kids.”
Now, she says, the focus is completely different as their children have become adults.
The Eversolls have talked about selling their house eventually and getting a smaller house with more land, but they are just figuring out those next steps. Says Nick, “It feels like you’re doing yard work and straightening up the yard, but there’s nobody playing in it anymore. There’s no kids out there, so why do we have this big yard when nobody’s enjoying it?”
Making a move is a big decision, and as wife Brandy says, “We’re still both working at Delta, so it depends on the commute. It depends on how much time we want to spend outside of the house… We definitely want to stay in Coweta because we love downtown Newnan and spend almost every other weekend there.”
Cooking and mealtime looks very different for their family now as the Eversolls adjust to making smaller portions and taking the time to enjoy a meal together. Usually before, it was grab and go and take off.
To stay busy, Brandy says her husband works on his GTO. They began making more time for fun, too.
“Nick and I also play basketball together,” she says. “He just got me a new basketball hoop for Valentine’s Day. We’re trying to get back to where it’s us doing stuff together.”
The pair plan on making travel a large part of their newly found free time. On their list of travel destinations are Peru, Spain and the Dominican Republic. The family is budget conscious, using their credit card points for free hotel stays and flight perks with Delta.
“Nick and I both grew up pretty poor, so we’ve always been very frugal and made sure our finances were pretty tight,” says Brandy, encouraging her fellow empty nesters to search out travel deals. “There are all kinds of cruises, especially during the wintertime and the beginning of the school year. Wintertime is the best time to visit overseas, since it will be slower and less expensive.”
Brandy stresses that couples with empty nests work to figure out the “balance” they’ll need to navigate their new normal.
“Make sure you’re still taking care of each other because after the kids have gone, you’re only going to have each other,” she says. “I believe we have to be more mindful once the kids leave.” NCM
Tips for downsizing
Local Realtor Allison Ziegler has some helpful tips for those in the process of downsizing, cleaning out a large home and packing for a move:
• Start the process sooner than you think you need to. It always creeps up, and it’s on you before you know it. Start early and pack a few boxes a day to keep the task from becoming overwhelming.
• If you can afford it, hire a mover, but pack everything in boxes yourself. As you get older, friends don’t want to move the heavy stuff, but they’ll help you pack.
• Have a keep, a donate and a sell pile.
• Get rid of any multiples.
• Be specific when you label your boxes. Write what’s in it and what room it goes to.
• Don’t get large packing boxes. They get too heavy to move once filled.
• Big wardrobe boxes are fantastic for moving your clothes from closet to closet. You don’t have to take anything off a hanger.
• Sell items on Craigslist, Marketplace or other avenues.
• Donate gently used items to local nonprofit organizations.
• Some say yard sales are a great way to sell your stuff, but I’ve had no luck with them. It’s a lot of work with very little profit, and then you still have a bunch of stuff to deal with after.
